How a Stress Addiction Hijacked My Brain

The Science of Never Stopping

Lions spend up to 20 hours a day resting.

Modern workers? We check our phones 96 times a day [1]. Some of you are probably triple-digit champions. Yeah, you know who you are.

Your brain hasn't tasted genuine downtime since dial-up internet went extinct. And it's messing you up more than you realise.

Let's dive in:

The Mental Slot Machine in Your Head

Remember the last time you were absolutely crushing it on a project?

Time disappeared. Ideas flowed. You felt like Neo seeing the Matrix code.

That flow state; when your brain’s operating at peak performance. McKinsey found that people report being five times more productive in these moments [2]. Five times! That's like turning one workday into a full week.

But here's where it gets weird.

The same chemicals that create flow (norepinephrine, dopamine, endorphins) also show up during anxiety attacks [3]. The difference? Dosage and duration.

It's like the difference between surfing a wave and being dragged under by it. Same water, wildly different experience.

Evolution designed your stress response for quick, emergency bursts. Escape a tiger or fight the cave man who stole your chicken. But now your brain triggers the same fight-or-flight response when your social notifications ding or emails pop into your inbox. Your brain was not primed for 3-hour Zoom marathons. We've created a world where our nervous systems stay permanently cranked to eleven.

Researchers call this "allostatic overload" – fancy speak for "your survival systems won't shut the hell off" [4]. Chronic overload literally shrinks your hippocampus and prefrontal cortex (the parts you need for complex thinking) [5]. Neuroscientists compare that brain pattern to changes seen after chronic trauma [6].

I learned this the hard way after my web agency started gaining traction.

Client emergency? Heart rate spike. Urgent email at 11 PM? There goes sleep. After months of this, my nervous system couldn't tell the difference between a genuine crisis and someone asking for a font change.

Sound familiar?

I once sat in a hospital working, while a close family friend was terminally ill, because 'I had to work'.

There I was, tapping away on my laptop, isolated in another room while everyone else was gathered, waiting for the inevitable. At first, I couldn’t see the stupidity, because stress-induced urgency had become my default. Thankfully, clarity hit me before it was too late. I messaged the client:

“If this has to be done today, I’m out.”

Turns out, they could wait. The project was nearly finished anyway. That extra day or two? Made zero difference to them. But being present in that hospital room? That made all the difference to me.

I still feel shame about that moment. I came close to choosing a deadline over a deathbed.

Here's something I used to say with a straight face (raise your hand if you've said any of these):

"I don't need weekends. I love my work too much."

“I need less sleep than most”

"Downtime just feels boring."

"I thrive under pressure."

What an absolute idiot I was.

I'd sit down to watch a film with my wife and last exactly 12 minutes before "checking something quickly" on my laptop. I'd take holidays but bring my entire office with me.

The truth? Rest felt wrong. Like wearing someone else's clothes.

When I finally forced myself to take a proper break, I felt physically ill, restless, anxious, guilty. My brain had become so addicted to stress hormones it had literally forgotten how to relax [7].

Your nervous system builds tolerance to its own stress chemicals just like any other addiction. When those levels drop during rest you experience genuine withdrawal [8].

In the same way, top athletes deliberately dial back their training volume to boost performance [9].

The most successful people I know now? They’re not grinding 24/7; they’ve mastered strategic recovery. They set clear boundaries — and don’t cross them. My friend Miles Welch puts it perfectly:

“A boundary is something you’re willing to lose a dollar, or a friend, over.”

Meanwhile, I was treating my brain like a rental car, red‑lining it and wondering why it kept breaking down. Chronic overstimulation blurred the line between healthy pressure and outright harm.

Microsoft’s Human Factors Lab found that stress starts building after just two back‑to‑back video calls [10]. Two! Yet we keep stacking meetings like Jenga blocks and then wonder why our brains feel scrambled.

The Detox Protocol: Breaking Your Brain's Stress Addiction

Right, let's fix this mess.

You need to retrain your brain to recognise rest as rocket fuel, not weakness.

If you’ve ever attended an audio space I’m speaking on, you’re 99% likely to hear me say “downtime fuels your uptime”. High level performance isn't about grinding harder. It's about oscillating between intense focus and genuine recovery.

Like a heartbeat. Contract. Release. Contract. Release.

Here's how you can get your brain back on track:

1. Call Out the Chemical Con

When that antsy feeling hits during downtime, don't fight it. Name it.

"This is just my brain jonesing for stress chemicals."

Sounds daft, but neuroscience shows that labelling emotions literally shrinks the fear centre in your brain [11]. It's like telling a toddler having a tantrum: "I see you're upset." The drama instantly deflates.

I now treat my rest resistance like a needy ex texting at 2 AM. Acknowledge it exists, then ignore it.

2. Create Your Off Switch Ritual

Your brain needs a clear "work's done" signal. Something physical, ritualistic, borderline religious.

When I worked from home, I'd take off my watch when I finished work. That tiny action became my brain's cue: work Dave is dead, human Dave can emerge. If you work at home, think of this action like your work-time mental commute. My friend changes into specific "not working" clothes.

Why Your Brain Needs a “Wake-Up Window” Before Work

Find your thing. Make it sacred.

Research shows these shutdown rituals slash stress and improve work-life balance [12]. Plus they make you feel slightly less mental for talking to inanimate objects.

3. Micro-dose Your Recovery

Start stupidly small. I mean embarrassingly small.

Set a timer for 15 minutes. Do something with zero productive value. Not "educational podcasts" or "networking walks." I mean properly pointless. Watch cat videos. Stare at clouds. Reorganise your sock drawer by softness.

The first time will feel like torture. Your brain will scream that you're wasting your life. Good. That's the withdrawal talking.

Studies show even tiny breaks reset your mental state [13]. Think of it as interval training for your nervous system.

Gradually, your nervous system will rediscover how to chill, unlocking the parasympathetic magic you need for creativity and long-term performance.

Your brain is your most valuable professional asset. Stop letting it run on adrenaline fumes. It deserves better.

I share this so you don’t end up tapping away while life, and the people you love, pass by.

Until next time,
Dave

P.S. If you catch yourself listening to a productivity podcast during your "rest" time, I will personally come to your house and confiscate your headphones.

---

References

[1] Asurion. (2019). Americans Check Their Phones 96 Times a Day. Tech Care Company Survey.

[2] Cranston, S., & Keller, S. (2013). Increasing the 'meaning quotient' of work. McKinsey Quarterly, 1, 48-59.

[3] Arnsten, A. F. T. (2009). Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 410-422.

[4] McEwen, B. S. (2007). Physiology and neurobiology of stress and adaptation: central role of the brain. Physiological Reviews, 87(3), 873-904.

[5] Sapolsky, R. M. (2015). Stress and the brain: Individual variability and the inverted-U. Nature Neuroscience, 18(10), 1344-1346.

[6] van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.

[7] Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers: The Acclaimed Guide to Stress, Stress-Related Diseases, and Coping. Henry Holt and Company.

[8] Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

[9] Meeusen, R., Duclos, M., Foster, C., Fry, A., Gleeson, M., Nieman, D., ... & Urhausen, A. (2013). Prevention, diagnosis, and treatment of the overtraining syndrome: joint consensus statement of the European College of Sport Science and the American College of Sports Medicine. Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise, 45(1), 186-205.

[10] Microsoft Human Factors Lab. (2021). Research Proves Your Brain Needs Breaks. Microsoft 365 Blog.

[11] Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421-428.

[12] Perlow, L. A., & Porter, J. L. (2009). Making time off predictable—and required. Harvard Business Review, 87(10), 102-109.

[13] Kim, S., Park, Y., & Headrick, L. (2018). Daily micro-breaks and job performance: General work engagement as a cross-level moderator. Journal of Applied Psychology, 103(7), 772-786.